Published on May 2, 2022

21 Signs Your Husband Isn’t in Love with You

If the thought that your husband is no longer in love with you has crossed your mind recently, your thoughts may immediately race to panic mode and divorce, and that is perfectly normal. There are, however, some steps that you should take prior to picturing how you are going to divide your marital assets. The first step in the process is remembering that we’ve all been a bit on edge after collectively living through a pandemic. Knowing the signs that there may be an actual problem can also help, and if you ultimately think that you may need a divorce, don’t hesitate to reach out to an experienced Yakima divorce attorney.

Take a Moment to Reflect

The thought that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore didn’t spring out of nowhere, and you shouldn’t attempt to push it under the rug. Again, we’ve all been through a lot, and maybe it’s time to cut yourself some slack and take a mental health break – stress can lead to unfounded ideas that haunt us. Regardless of the reason, however, the thought has crossed your mind, and it’s time to explore it further. Step one is carving out the time and emotional space to talk to your husband openly about your concerns, and if this doesn’t help to assuage them, be on the lookout for the 21 signs that can indicate your husband’s love is waning.

1: Your Husband Is No Longer Affectionate

You shouldn’t expect your normally quiet and reserved husband to suddenly become showily affectionate in order to prove his love. If, however, your husband has backed off the affectionate gestures that you were accustomed to, it could mean something. Telltale signs can include:

If your husband no longer whispers sweet nothings in your ear, brings you flowers on the odd Thursday, or initiates date nights (the way he used to), take notice.
Your husband’s I love you suddenly rings hollow or has disappeared altogether.
Your husband’s once robust libido has disappeared altogether, has decreased significantly, or feels forced.
Your husband no longer initiates sex.
Your husband is suddenly hands-off and no longer expresses physical affection.

2: Your Husband Rejects Your Affection

While we all get cranky and would prefer to be left alone from time to time, a steady diet of this can prove damaging to relationships. If your husband is consistently rebuffing your affection, it’s worth taking note of that fact.

3: Your Husband Is No Longer Around

If your husband used to spend as much time as he could at home and around you but has been making a lot of excuses lately, it may spell trouble. Even if your husband is home but is holed up somewhere (and may as well be elsewhere), it can indicate a change.

4: Your Husband Makes Plans without You

It’s healthy and natural for you and your husband to do things on your own and to make plans of your own. If your spouse, however, has begun to exclusively make plans without you, it demonstrates that he’s still interested in doing things but that he may not want to do them with you.

5: Your Husband Has Seemingly Taken a Vow of Silence

If your once talkative husband no longer engages in deep, meaningful conversations with you, this shift can be significant. Additionally, if you used to love gossiping about the neighbor’s midlife crisis (for example), but your husband now feigns disinterest, you shouldn’t ignore the change.

6: Your Husband Doesn’t Listen to You

Our lives are as busy as they’ve ever been, and we all find ourselves tuning out here and there. If, however, your husband simply doesn’t listen to you and adopts an attitude of in one ear and out the other, it’s disrespectful and is likely indicative of a deeper problem.

7: Your Husband Is No Longer Interested in You

We demonstrate our love by showing genuine interest in one another, and if your husband no longer cares what you’re up to or is no longer interested in what’s happening in your life, his affections may be waning.

8: Your Husband Has Become a Vault

If your husband no longer shares his personal thoughts or opens up about his life outside your home, it demonstrates a turn inwards and is not a great sign. If your efforts to draw him out fall on deaf ears, the matter is even more concerning.

9: Your Husband No Longer Prioritizes Your Relationship

If your husband doesn’t seem interested in the state of your marriage, his lack of concern should concern you. Relationships obviously require tending, and marriages are no different. Don’t ignore your husband’s apathy.

10: Your Husband Ignores Your Requests

Marriage is all about give and take. Running a family and household smoothly – or even semi-smoothly (in most cases) – takes a lot of work, planning, and cooperation. If both of you are not on board, the balance in your home can quickly go off the rails. If your husband has stopped responding to your requests to participate in what it means to be a family, it’s not a good sign.

11: Your Husband Takes Pains to Protect the Feelings of Others

If your husband is going through something (such as buckling under immense stress or having problems at work), you can expect it to come out (somewhat) in the way he treats everyone. On the other hand, if your spouse is careful to protect everyone’s feelings but yours, it demonstrates that his emotional downturn is focused on you. Even if he’s simply taking something out on you, it’s far less than ideal.

12: Your Husband Has Taken to Pointing Out Your Faults

One of the great things about a relationship as close as marriage is that you can let your hair down a bit and don’t have to be at your best all the time. If your husband has taken to pointing out your faults and foibles as a means of keeping score, of simply being nasty, or of doing anything else, it is not only uncalled for but is also unacceptable.

13: Your Husband Is Increasingly Irritable with You

Has your husband suddenly started to hate the way you flip a burger, stand in line, do the laundry, or breathe? His increased irritability is trying to tell you something. If he’s irritated as heck with everyone in his life, it can be indicative of depression or increased anxiety, but if his irritability is focused on you, it may have more to do with your relationship.

14: Your Husband Criticizes You in Front of Others

Married couples are a team, and while no one is perfect, there is no excuse for bad-mouthing you in public. If your husband takes issue with something about you or with something you’ve done, that is a matter for a private conversation. If your husband has taken to criticizing you in front of other people, it’s not only unkind but is also very damaging to your relationship. This is a matter that should not be ignored.

15: Your Husband No Longer Compliments You

If your husband used to pay you a well-deserved compliment when you took pains to look your best, poured yourself into cooking a delicious meal, or handled the latest crisis at your children’s school but no longer seems to notice, something has changed.

16: Your Husband Takes an Out of Sight, Out of Mind Approach

Keeping the lines of communication open has never been easier. We can text, instant message, and call one another literally any time we feel like it. If your husband no longer feels like it, there’s a reason. Withholding by shutting you out in this way is cruel and should not go unnoticed.

17: Your Husband Has Stopped Addressing Your Future Together

An important element of every marriage is the future you’re planning – even if it’s just a weekend getaway or that trip to your in-laws’ that you’ve been putting off. If your husband no longer talks about your future and avoids the topic of upcoming events, he is sending you a message.

18: Your Husband Forgets Important Dates

Some people simply aren’t great with remembering seemingly important dates, but if your husband forgets dates that he would never have in the past, pay attention. If your husband fails to show up at your daughter’s recital that you’ve been turning your family’s schedule inside out to accommodate for a month (for example), there is a deeper meaning.

19: Your Husband Is Disrespecting You in Lots of Little Ways

The saying death by a thousand cuts refers to lots of little things that add up to one giant whammy. If your husband seems to be disrespecting you in lots of little ways that bug you but that you don’t want to blow out of proportion, you might want to think again. Common examples include:

He lies to you about little things (for no discernable reason).
He ignores your family budget.
He is always late.
He has dinner or drinks out without letting you know.
He doesn’t pick up the phone when you call or doesn’t text you back.
He makes a point to show his disinterest in you.
He gaslights you.
He brushes off your concerns.

This list could go on.

20: Your Husband Flirts Openly with Other Women

Maybe your husband is a flirt, and it’s utterly harmless. If, on the other hand, your husband has taken up a new hobby that involves flirting openly with other women, it’s a different story. This brand of disrespect is not only hurtful but is also completely out of line.

21: Your Husband Puts Your Kids in the Middle

Of all the signs that your husband’s feelings are turning sour, engaging your kids in his efforts to demonstrate his displeasure with you and your relationship is the most harmful. If your husband no longer values your marriage, it’s his responsibility to handle the matter like an adult, which includes working on the issue with you. If he’s skipped directly to divorce plans, it’s an ugly turn of events, but if he’s engaging your children in his efforts, you shouldn’t tolerate it.

Taking It All In

Even if your husband is suddenly engaging in some or most of the above signs, it does not mean that he no longer loves you and is heading straight for divorce. Our complicated lives can push even the most levelheaded among us to behave badly. If, however, your spidey senses are tingling after exploring this list of 21 telltale signs that your husband is no longer in love with you, you shouldn’t ignore the matter. If having a heart-to-heart with your husband doesn’t help to assure you that you’re simply going through a bad patch, you’re well-advised to take action. The sooner you address the prospect of divorce by consulting with a dedicated divorce attorney, the better prepared you’ll be to protect both your parental and financial rights if your marriage does end.

An Experienced Yakima Divorce Attorney Can Help

If you’ve done the math and have serious doubts about your husband’s feelings for you, the trusted divorce attorneys at Dobbs & Young in Yakima, Washington, have the compassion, keen legal insight, and drive to help. To learn more, please don’t wait to contact or call us at 509-577-9177 today.